On the lighter side of life, Ceridian LifeWorks, a top provider of Employee Assistance Programs, asked HR managers to share the most unbelievable reasons their employees have given for missing work. They included:
- I was trapped in my house by a skunk.
- I have head lice.
- The barometer was too high.
- The neighbor’s dog died in front of my garage, and I couldn’t get the door open.
- I couldn’t open my garage door because the power went off.
- My car tires were repossessed, and my car was up on blocks.
- I left my car keys at work last night.
- I didn’t have a key to lock my house because my mom took it.
- My washing machine was broken, so I had no clean clothes.
- I dropped my kid’s bike on my foot.
- I got so sunburned on the weekend that I couldn’t get dressed.
- My apartment was so cold that my hair froze after I washed it.
Okay. Really? Do these folks want to be taken seriously as professionals? “While these excuses can be entertaining, absenteeism is no laughing matter for employers and co-workers,” said Ceridian LifeWorks executive vice president U.S., Zachary Meyer. “Absenteeism annually costs companies millions of dollars in payroll expenses and lost productivity, not to mention the fact that workplace morale can suffer, as co-workers have to pick up the slack.”
Meyer offers the following tips for employers who want to reduce the frequency of “unusual absences” and more effectively manage absenteeism:
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- Establish a clear absence policy. Employees are more likely to comply with a policy that is well thought out, clearly communicated and applied consistently and fairly to all workers.
- Develop an absence measurement system. Employers can’t manage what they don’t understand. Tracking absence patterns of individuals and departments allows employers to characterize and manage the root causes of absences.
- Deal with frequent absences directly and with sensitivity and respect. Ask employees who have legitimate, frequent absences how you can work with them to reduce the days they spend away from work.
- Promote a positive attendance policy. Make an effort to ensure that your workplace has a positive and inviting atmosphere. Recognize and reward employees who have solid attendance records.
- Encourage employees to take care of themselves. Employees suffering from colds, viruses and the like need to feel they can and should stay home to get better. This is more important than ever before. Escalator handrails are the dirtiest and germ ridden public handrail in the city.
- Develop a plan to re-introduce employees who have been absent for extended periods. Keeping in contact with employees while they are away makes them feel appreciated, connected and compelled to return to work. Keep them in the loop regarding company news and ask about how you can make their transition back to work a smooth and comfortable one.
Hey, and if you really want an extra day off, earn it. Most employers respect extra hours worked to bring a project in on time, and offer lieu time off in exchange. Or if you just need a break from the office, consider working from home instead of taking a sick day. (Sign the Workopolis petition for a national work from home day.)
For a little fun try the automatic sick call generator. And be sure to share with us the best and worst excuses for calling in sick that you’ve ever heard or tried!
Colleen Clarke
Career Specialist & Corporate Trainer
www.colleenclarke.com
Author of Networking: How to Build Relationships That Count and How to Get a Job and Keep it
The best one I EVER heard: One of the employees had two artificial arms, and one morning he called in: “Hi, um, I’m not coming in today because my arm fell off”. Classic or what??
The best one I ever used (and it was true).. I dropped my car keys down an elevator shaft in my apartment building…
The boss believed it mostly because our relationship was such that if I needed a day off to do anything, I could have told him and it would have been fine, but I borroed a friend’s car and drove in for the afternoon…
Note to self – get spare key made :)
Have you ever had a really bad sunburn? That kind of thing can really hurt, and really take away from your day. Sometimes, you might as well just call in sick. It can be just as distracting as a bad migraine, and yes, sometimes it affects you to the point that putting on clothes can be very painful.
Dear employers,
The absolute best way to prevent absenteeism is to have a workplace that doesn’t suck the life out of your employees. Treat them with genuine respect (not H.R. department lip-service B.S.) and you’ll get respect back.
This was a disappointing article. It could have been so good….
Juggling your time off from work should be useful and not an always pleasing thing to yourself.
Weirdest one I heard, not to mention just plain old silly: “I couldn’t come in beacuse my sisters cat peed on my laundry pile and I had no more clean work clothes.”
The best one I heard was from a friend of mine who owner and rode a classic motorbike.
He was three hours late for work one day because he wasn’t able to get the bike started.
He told me later that the reason he couldn’t start it was because he was lying in bed!
My favorite one is ” I lost my American Express Card, and I didn’t want to leave home without it”
I used this once, they were not amused …
Depending on why the person has been absent from work, it may not be appropriate to call the employee. For some employees on Short-term disability a doctor has ordered the person complete rest at home without contact from the office. Managers should check with their HR Department before contacting employees on sick or disability leave.
The best one I heard for missing work was from someone who has wasps inside their wall. I would have gladly went to work to prevent a sting. This employee came up as well that he is missing work because his son is constipated. He was very creative
It’s all in the set up. Engage in work behaviour that will allow the occasional sickie if the need arises. Take a long stinky session in the toilet daily, and when you call in with diarhea, no questions asked. The other one is to have an old vehicle that legitimately breaks down on occasion. When one needs a sickie, not hard to say the car broke down.
I thought I had head lice once so I thought it was a good idea to call in so I didn’t infect other people. No? lol
Between September 11/06 and April 11/07 my step-father, uncle, aunt, grandmother and natural father all died and, as was close to all of them, my attendance was required at each funeral. Human resources should definitely understand that unusual circumstances do happen and are out of anyone’s control.
Why do bosses feel the need to call you 2 to three times a day after you have called in sick. I have found that they call for the silliest things.
I had a co-worker call in because his shoes had fallen apart and he didn’t have another pair.
He also called in a few weeks later complaining that he accidental ran into a house while walking his dog and was too hurt to work.
Sorry, but I’d like to think I could see a house coming at me.
The best one I heard was when a boss called one of his employees around 11.00am because there was no sign of him. B. “Are you sick? Are you coming to work today?” the employee answered with a sleepy voice: “Why? Do you need me on a Saturday?Is there an emergency?” It was not Saturday, of course. The guy promised to be there for the rest of the day – and he made it for after lunch, apologizing for assuming it was Saturday. I never done it for work because you never know when it can happen for real and you actually need that day off, but I`ve done it in school – playing that sick dizzy thing to even get to the doctor cabinet…hehe, at least for 1-2 hours.
The excuse I liked the best was from someone who told me that they weren’t coming in to work because they were having a mental breakdown. They did assure me though that they would be in the next day!
I agree totally with Michael who posted at 2:37. Too many employers expect far too much for far too little and many, many of them have absolutely NO regard for employee standards. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many abuses I have encountered working in the private sector, where it’s a case of “if you want to get/keep this job, you’ll just shut up and put up with it.” My most recent employer insisted on me starting at 8am and working straight through until 6 or 7pm – NO breaks whatsoever. Add to that the requirement to work an entire year before being allowed to take a whole 10 days off in the second (if it suits the employer) and you’ve got a completely toxic workplace. I can fully understand why people have to make excuses for a little time off, but with the pay being so low, not many of us can afford to do this. Canada is probably on a par with any third world country where workers are concerned.
You do actually have to be careful with this stuff though. I accidentally hit my finger with a hammer. I hit it so hard that I almost passed out. My employer accused me of a pre-meditated “accident” so I can have a day off. Even legitimate things like bleeding all over his keyboard can be used against you.
I once got a sunburn on the weekend and I too thought it was silly to call in on the Monday sick.
Work ended up havinng to bring me to the hospital and I had 3rd degree burns..ended up have to stay home for over a week.
Not so silly sometimes.
The best I have had was I couldn’t get my car out of the driveway or down the street because of snow. I was 3 1/2 hrs late even though the roads were bad as I knew she wouldn’t believe me. Transit is not an option to get to work due to the location.
“I didn’t have a key to lock my house because my mom took it.”
I’ve actually had a problem close to this once. However, it wasn’t a case of someone taking the key (I’ve always had one copy), but rather a case of my key being lost. Boggles me how it happened, but I couldn’t find that damn thing one morning. Also, the garage door in a power outage has also caused me a problem, but I have not parked in one for a long time, so…but in any case, some of these are just unbelievable. As for the head lice comment above this…yes, head lice CAN actually spread between people, but did you get it treated that day? Otherwise, it could turn into one of these excuses if you vanish for a week. =)
It was too cold outside. I take the bus and draw the line at -30 degrees Celsius.
The sunburn one surprised me. I really have had one so bad it was hard to get dressed! The thing was blistering and left a tan line for more than a year afterwards. So if someone called in with that, I’d be like, you poor soul, just rest up!
This is stupid. First of all, head lice and a sunburn are plausible reasons. Head lice is very contagious and a sunburn can actually be so bad that you can’t even bend your knees and back. Ok, maybe most people have never been unreasonable enough to experience a sunburn so extreme, but sometimes it can be tricky. I got one once and the thing is you don’t feel or see anything abnormal until you get home and take a shower. THEN you see and feel the almost unbearable pain, if it’s a real bad sunburn.
Now the other reasons were either due to the employee trying to seem funny or the employers asked decided to take the poll in a funny way and thought of ridiculous things to say. No one in their natural state of mind would use any of those unless they were true. If a person needs time off work for no reason other than being lazy or tired, the most natural excuse is that they are sick. Usually their stomach, because the stomach flu is less visible than the flu and goes away quickly, so an employer would never guess if you had it or not.
But still.. the best thing to say is always the truth. If you’re tired or don’t feel like working, you should let your employer know. It happens to everyone and it’s better not to work at all then to go to work and think about something else when you should be concontrating. Besides, how are you supposed to have a good relationship with your employer if you lie?
1. I called HR one morning and said that I couldn’t make it in today because I have a serious problem with my eyes. HR asked what was the problem with my eyes and I responded that I just can’t see myself coming to work today.
2. I was a “no call no show” one day and in the early afternoon HR called me at home to find out why. I told them that my wife and I had not had sex in 13 months and she woke up this morning in an amorous mood so I stayed home making up for lost time.
What if one of these is true? I couldn’t leave the house one day because my husband took my keys – meaning I couldn’t lock it.
Am I supposed to be sneered at or disbelieved for telling the truth?
Actually I’ve got a so bad sunburn that I couldn’t wear any clothes (it seems there was something wrong with sunscreen). Not very impressive article.
The most incredible one was:
.
I usually don’t tell my employer why I was sick. I just simply say that I am sick and won’t be in to work. Illness is sometime a private thing not be shared. If the employer wants to get serious, I’ll submit a doctors note…..either that, or I’ll say that I had outrageous diarrhea….no one wants to talk about that.
My son loves the WWE. So, one Sat. I called in, said he split his head doing backyard wrestling, and he needed me at the hospital with him. Kinda restricting when you live in a town of 5,000!
So, I put a big guaze on his forehead, laced it with food coloring and told him (which is true) that we were playing this game so I could actually be with him and his brother more (I work weekends…when they’re in my care, so we don’t see much of each other) My boss showed up at my house to make sure all was legit. I’ve since worked harder at my home business, so that this isn’t the price I have to pay to be with my family more!
While I agree with calling in sick if you’re legitimately sick, I don’t like having to do a double shift or extra long shift when the person is in the habit of booking off constantly. We had someone do that on a regular basis where he would call in sick literally minutes before his shift was to begin. He finally got removed but there were some hard feelings as I or one of my other co-workers had to do last minute cancellations of doctor appointments etc just to cover this guy’s shift. Just remember, your co-workers have lives too.
Head lice is no joke. Kids are forced to stay home when infested. If there’s doubt, have employee bring in doctors note. This could be brutal for a single employee living on their own having to arrange away to eliminate them.
I was teaching at a Canadian military recruit basic training course back in 1991. The morning after a senior NCO mess dinner, I went to the beach with the other instructors and fell asleep on the sand. Monday morning I had to teach drill on the parade square to recruits……completely sunburned! Needless to say, my drill demos weren’t quite up to standard, but I persevered!
As mentioned in the article, it is very important that the employers takes note of those employees who are regular and rarely use sick holidays. In our office I have seen employees mis-using sick holidays left, right and center but they are the glorified lot!! They suck up to the bosses no end. That makes a difference! On the other hand, I have seen very studious and hard working employees (mostly from third world immigrants) who does not know how to suck up to their boss, cannot take a sick leave easily when they are really sick. When they call in sick I have seen biased bosses asking several questions and advising to work from home! but for other lot – take it easy, rest well, see you tomorrow! Wow. Sad.
I have heard some of those excuse from co-workers etc. I feel guilty if I take a day off for anything. One morning I showed up at work, and the parking lot was empty. I thoght maybe I was early or something. After sitting there for more than an hour I realized it was Saturday.
Sometimes we just have an off day and would like time off. On other times when something happens employers shoud not always the reason is an excuse. I had actually searched my house like a maniac looking for my keys. Finally I had to call in that I could not make it to work and why. It did sound like a lame excuse even to me. However, I finaly located my keys in my husbands pants pockets that he wore to work that day. He used my car for something as its a van and put the keys in his pocket and forgot about it.
Sometimes it’s not the job, it’s your home. One very hot summer afternoon I got a call asking why I was 20 minutes late for my shift. Asleep at the time of the call, and disoriented I promised I’d be there in half an hour so someone could leave. When I tried to get down the stairs I was so dizzy I nearly fell. After clinging to the walls back to my apartment, and sitting on the kitchen floor for a few minutes I realised I was probably overheated, and after calling work (and nearly being fired) I spent the afternoon downing water and lying on the tiled kitchen floor with my feet in a bucket of cold water, (I now know there are better ways of coping with heatstroke). My boss couldn’t fathom that maybe I’d fell asleep and forgot about work because I was suffering from heatstroke, and that it does cause dizziness and disorientation, that I may not have been fully aware of when he first called.
The next summer, a different job, I passed out at a bus stop on my way to work, and after being given gatorade and being driven home by a gardening crew I had to call and tell work I couldn’t make it in due to heatstroke. They were annoyed, but I nearly made up my quota by working an hour a day overtime the rest of the week, and they forgave me.
One of my roommates, from a different house, suffered a flood in his basement bedroom which seriously disrupted his life and caused him to miss some work. Thankfully his job was fairly casual. Then for the next few months he suffered mould sickness, and would end up sleeping 16 hours a day, being completely unable to go to work. His job was reasonably supportive, and kept him on, though he had very nearly lost a major promotion due to his “irresponsiblity”. Finally he found the mould was in his mattress, removed the cause of his illness, and became a start employee once again, getting the promotion. Just goes to prove that weird circumstances can hit the best people, and that with enough understanding and working with the employee you can retain some of the best.
Frequently absent employee means he has been asigned a work which is not suitable for him or is of less interest for employee or is not aligned with the career path employee has though for himself. other that the above only one more reason can be there that is employee just needs some motivation and needs some more authority so that he can take and feel ownership of work assigned to him.
Frankly, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business why I took the day off. These things are personal 90% of the time and professional 10% of the time.
I seldom call in sick. I call in absent. No boss has the right to know if your kid banged his head or if you’ve been sitting on the toilet all day. if you’re sick, you’re probably too sick to see a doctor. Perhaps if the absenteeism lasts longer than three days, you’ve probably seen a doctor.
If it’s professional, you’ve probably already informed everybody concerned that you’ll be attending a conference, and the only reason to call is to remind your boss
The funniest excuse I ever heard – I was in the main office of a middle school. The secetary was talking on the phone saying “Yes…okay…I understand” Then she said “Well, you and your boyfriend should get to a doctor right away.” I looked over at her when she hung up. She just started laughing and shaking her head. Apparently a teacher had called in to say she could not come into work because she was scratching ‘down there’ and there was a rash. In this case, “I don’t feel well.” works just fine for me!!!!!!
I do payroll at our company and the best/worst excuse I ever got for someone being off was that he was an extra in a Zombie movie and had to take the entire week off work – the boss actually believed this and let him get away with it, while the other two of us in the office did his work on top of ours!!
The people who invent creative excuses wonder why their co-workers seem cold and uncaring when they return from their “illnesses”, when we get tired of the excuses and having to take up the slack for them and then get blamed when it wasn’t enough or done right. And as the comment above mentioned, these are always the ones the boss overlooks or doesn’t deal with and people with legitimate troubles or issues get treated poorly. It boggles the mind!
The best excuse that I heard was when I was working in a call center in a managerial roll.
An customer service agent calledstating that he would not be able to come in because he burned his hands when the ‘ninja smoke bomb’ he was buildng accidentally went off and started burning the living room floor…. he had burnt his hands picking it up to prevent the apartment building from catching on fire.
Employee of the month award? -No
Darwin Award? – Definitely a candidate.
I actually did call in sunburned from the weekend because I couldn’t wear clothes. I had to go the the hospital and I had a doctor’s note giving me an entire week off. It does happen!
I have called in sick from outside of a bar, 3 hours from town. I never did know if they knew I was plastered, lol
The best one I ever used was “I really should not be there today.”
I was very tired, burnt out, and frustrated, to the point of anger. I did come in to work but felt on the verge of blowing up at someone. After an hour, I told my boss this, and he took me home himself. When I came back the next day, I thanked him for giving me that day.
Thing is, if you really want to keep your job, but need a day off, first you need to earn the reputation of being dependable, diligent in your work. If you miss a day, your employers should know that you’ll make it up, without asking. And don’t abuse it.
I actually had the “couldn’t open the garage door because the power went off” happen to me a few years ago. Was late an hour and a half. Oversized garage, the door would not stay up when I tried to lift it manually….
In my position I have pretty much heard every excuse out there! Am I synical because of it??? Absolutely. My favorites:
“I got mugged at an ATM and I’m still in shock.”
“I think I have herpes. Is that contagious?”
“I have a huge boil on my behind, and I can’t go in until it pops.”
” I have been in a car accident in my cab on my way to work…I just gave someone CPR. (actually never showed up…ever again.)”
” My dog fell off the couch and broke his leg.”
“I had a home invasion last night and I think they may come back.”
If your employees enjoy thier job and like their boss they will not miss a day coming to work unless it’s an emergency. The workplace is their “second” home. Make them want to come to work. If you tend to be the stuck up boss and want to control and micro manage, then good luck with your group wanting to come to work.
So, I guess what this article is telling us is that if something like this was to really happen and keep you from going to work your best option is to lie and make up a believable reason…? I usually don’t take sick days when not sick because I can’t enjoy myself, I’m constantly worrying about the next day and if they are going to believe me. That being said we have no reward for not using your sick days though, you got the guy who uses all of them plus some extra and then you have the guy who uses none. They get paid the same and no one notices. So why not use them? If you have a day or two of down time and you’re waiting for the next project to get going I think I should be able to use a few sick days.
I have legitimately been HOURS late because the power went off, backup generator wasn’t working, and the garage door of my building couldn’t be opened. I actually snapped a picture of people standing around, trying to figure out how to get it open, and texted it to my boss.
I also had an employee who had, in two years, 5 grandmothers pass away.
This one came from a co-worker. He said he had to leave early because a technician was coming from the phone company to replace his answering machine battery. I made him take a picture of the service van in his driveway as proof.
A co worker was born in the USA and called in saying he was taking the day off cause it was an American holiday. YOUR CANADIAN, holidays in the US are for USA people!