A few weeks ago, New York investment bank Goldman Sachs Group Inc. made the news for instructing employees to stop using profanity in e-mails and text messages. This led to an article in the Globe and Mail about profanity in the workplace in general. The gist? You probably shouldn’t use it. That makes sense.
A lot of people, myself included, would argue or have argued that people are far too uptight about the use of foul language. But the truth is that swearing in the workplace or in any social situation that may be a networking opportunity (so, MOST of them) isn’t going to do you any favours. A dirty mouth might not necessarily diminish your worth in another’s eyes, depending on the individual, but it might. And it’s very unlikely to elevate you (possible exceptions: Def Jam record label parties; brothels; Yahoo!). So, why take the chance? I say this as someone who has a mouth like a gangsta rapper.
Like any other habit, swearing can be hard to stop. So, how can we break the habit?…
James O’Connor, founder of the Cuss Control Academy gave me some tips. He started the “Academy” because he had a swearing problem himself. He hasn’t wiped it out completely but now he does it less, and he gives me the following tips for taming your tongue.
1. Recognize that swearing does damage: Most people think, “It’s just words. What’s the big deal?” They don’t recognize that it does offend people, other people judge you, and it reflects a lack of civility and manners. Also, it’s associated with negativity. Sure, it can be just for fun but it’s also associated with complaining, criticizing and name calling.
2. Think Positively: If you eliminate negative thoughts you will swear less.
3. Use alternative words: You can come up with an expletive to replace an expletive. But you can’t come up with just one word to substitute for all the many, many applications of certain words, like the “F” word, which is a noun, verb adjective etc. That’s one reason people use that word and the “SH” word so frequently. Both are extremely versatile. It’s simply lazy language. Use a different word.
You can find more tips here.
And, while we’re on the subject, another big problem? The use of “like” and “you know” being used all the freaking time in common parlance. It’s getting OUT OF CONTROL.
You do yourself an immense disservice when you do this. Yes, I do it too. But not nearly as much as most people. And I know it tends to be associated with younger people, but I also hear people in their 40s and 50s doing it. If you can, I suggest you stop.
Not everyone agrees with me. You can read more about the pro-”like” lobby here.
But if you choose to eradicate it from your vocabulary – when not referring to similarity or appreciation, of course — here are a few more tips:
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1. Be aware: Liz Holland of the Toronto-based Career Council says you have to be aware that you’re doing it. This is so true. I often point it out to friends and they apparently have NO IDEA. Holland suggests video taping yourself and getting friends to point it out to you. And DON’T get defensive or deny it. “You have to let people bring it up,” she says.
2. Find something else to do and condition yourself to do it. James Claiborn, a psychologist and author of The Habit Change Workbook: How to Break Bad Habits and Form Good Ones, suggests finding something else to do instead: “We call that a competing response. It has to be something that you can do in whatever situation you’re in when engaging in the problem behaviour, it needs to be something that is incompatible with the problem behaviour, so you can’t do both at the same time. Suppose, when you catch yourself about to say it, you gently bite your lip or do something with your mouth that is incompatible with talking.”
3. Breathe. Jay Miller, a Toronto speech coach says, “Most people, when they use filler words should instead be taking a breath and learning to be comfortable with that silent in breath instead of the filler word. Most people aren’t breathing enough when they speak.”
Eradicate swearing and filler words from your vocabulary and you’ll be more articulate and sound smarter, and probably, as a result be more successful. At least that’s, like, my #%&*% theory.
Let them swear. This way you have the opportunity to develop the employees that make better choices over the ones that can’t seem to get out of the potty mouth and grow up (while I don’t advocate a ban on swearing, using foul words as a second language does nothing for anyone in business, other than rap stars whose audience is the same). Forcing anyone to stop their natural behaviors just masks what is always there, which leads a business owner to never knowing or understanding their business’s culture within. Let your employees reveal themselves, and learn to either hire better, pay more or adapt.
I’m sorry, but the real reason that Goldman Sachs banned profanity is not because they wanted to put a stop to profanity in the workplace. It was because one of their emails saying that they convinced company stockholders or customers to accept their “sh**ty deals”. Their ban on profanity is nothing more than a ruse to hide the corrupt business practices that truly deserve to be banned.
It’s true and worth to keep in mind. Thanks for lovely topic that is discussed over here.
You will find that more and more people will swear in their day to day conversations, whether they be emailed, texted or spoken. The problem is that our society now allows people to leave school unable to read or write correctly. Their exposure is purely through the internet/tv/video.
No *&^%$ wonder they swear!!!!
I don’t know why you sent this to me…. I don’t swear in my work emails or at work for that matter. I’m a little perturbed that you think I did.
Interesting article, I use profanity to gauge the intellectual level of the person or persons who may overhear it. Taking offense is an internal choice and directly reflects both the intellectual competency and rigidity of a person. During ones journey through life there will be insurmountable amount of opportunities to take offense to a life’s occurrences. People who are unable to flow positively to any occurrence are the people not worth hiring as they often turn out to be constant complainers about how life and others negatively impact them and spend hours discussing these occurrences at the work place and reduce over all productivity.
Define cussing, swearing? Some companies consider using all capital letters as yelling out loud, even though the e-mail is worded properly, well mannered, and does not contain any swear words? I think some companies need instruction here! Someone should define what swearing and cussing and fussing is and create one general rule to follow.
I love this technique. A good advice. Thanks
I believe that the use of profanity should not and cannot be regulated. Let people express themselves in their own way and truly, the method chosen does demonstrate the level of a person’s intellect. When younger, I swore like a demon, and considered myself clever for the number of ways I could fit certain words into a sentence.
In the my early twenties, I remember making the decision and my reasons for it clearly. “What meaning do these words add to my sentence?” None. “Do these words really make me sound more intelligent?” No. I always managed to turn the language off when relating to my mom. It occurred to me…if I can turn it off for one person, I can turn it off for good. So I did. I’ve been a plumber for a decade and, quite often, I’m the only guy on the site not swearing a blue streak, as I don’t swear. Period.
As for the overuse of ‘LIKE’? Don’t get me started. I ride public transit and overhear some conversations that make my guts squirm at the overuse and misuse of that one word. I am a strong believer that language is a strong indicator of, if not one’s intellect, then at least the depth of one’s imagination. Let them communicate as they wish. You will know better the size of a person by their communication style.
Let me just put it this way: I have never had a moment’s regret over NOT using foul language in any situation, and no one has ever criticized me for NOT using such words. (OTOH I have had occasional criticism over bad language, but much more often, just regrets, that sometimes surface years later.) Most such words raise the overall level of tension and hostility, and since it’s so hard to lower those levels, you need to be in the habit of pushing things in the other direction as possible.
There is more to swearing than can be presented in the written form. The inflections and tone often influence the interpretation of the message being delivered. The closest I have been to swearing in the written form is a certain three letter acronym or the symbols used in the messages above. The latter being in the context of conveying humour where swearing is implied.
Email communication is routinely responsible for misinterpreted messaging and likely results in more swearing in the verbalized form by the recipient. Serious matters that warrant cursing are best left to the present voice technologies available.
Most people are aware of their audience and have established a rapport with them before swearing “comfortably” in their presence.
The real question is how do they know you are swearing in your emails. Two words ‘Big Brother’. Whether I swear in an email to someone else my own concern not theirs. By banning swearing they think they are stopping negative thinking, If employees feel the need to vent to each other about their working situation then it is the company that needs to change. They need to address the areas of concerns to make their employees happier. . Recognize that swearing does damage: Most people think, “It’s just words. What’s the big deal?” They don’t recognize that it does offend people, other people judge you, and it reflects a lack of civility and manners. Also, it’s associated with negativity. Sure, it can be just for fun but it’s also associated with complaining, criticizing and name calling.
Ironically the people that swear are senior managers and executives. These are people who deal with a lot of stress. It would help if they took note that it does not help to get the desired outcome they are looking for and actually creates a permanent emotional barrier between themselves and their employees. I was a one of those nice goodie two shoes kids during my school years, I learnt to swear in the workplace.
Yes Shannon, because decency and profanity are negatively correlated. Please descend from the gray cloud you arrived on. There are many things that should cause offense.
As the old saying goes, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”
Regardless of the circumstances, profanity can never be justified.
Do you really think people are too “uptight” about foul language? Really? Because of everyone’s acceptance of it, the world is a much less nice place. The F word is so prevalent, that I tune people out. If you can’t make your point without swearing, you need anger-management and a bigger vocabulary. There is nothing wrong or ‘old fashioned’ about politeness. And it goes a long way! Much further than “F” this and “S” that!
The younger generation use profanity all the time and seem not to notice they are doing it. Their ability to express themselves correctly in good English is extremely poor and a very sad reflection on the standards of education in this country, despite the millions spent on “improving” it over the past few years. No doubt in a couple more generations profanity will be acceptable language use by all.
Rude language has no place in a working environment. In my managerial role I have had to stop it from some newcomers. An informal chat has been enough without the need to go to disciplinary action.
I don’t swear in emails our in conversations with co-workers cut I do swear at my desk under my breath, sometimes load enough for at least one neighboring cubicle to hear. I consider my workplace a high-stress environment: when it is not unreasonable workloads/deadlines, it is some person questioning your work while dodging their own responsibilities or, worse, trying to make them yours. I will try positive reinforcement and happy thoughts next time (e.g. “I really appreciate this guy going and modifying this file I am working on without even telling me so I will be completely surprised when I have to reconcile the changes, he is doing me such a big favour by keeping me on my toes”). I don’t think you can positively spin everything, sometimes you will get offended.
Is cursing a constructive/acceptable response? No: I would like to disabuse myself of this habit. Is it unjustified? Well, the “causes of offense” are many and seem to be multiplying. Many people are resigning in large numbers from my particular group and leaving the company in most cases: they have just had enough of the environment. If you have large numbers of employees screaming and/or cursing instead of communicating effectively, then there is larger problem in that workplace in my opinion. Employee cursing can be a symptom of the illness, not the cause.
It doesn’t matter who I’m dealing with, or what their credentials are, as soon as they cuss or swear, I instantly lose respect for them. It’s unprofessional, and makes the person sound a little less competent and a little less in control. I think this is a problem not just in the work place, but throughout our society. We’ve become low-brow boors, settling to identify with the lowest common denominator. Sad.
Oh Jesus, people have to get a life. Anyone who uses profanity as every second word ANYWHERE needs to rethink their vocabulary, but using profanity at work in an normal, average, everyday person sort of way is, well, a normal, average, everyday thing. If something pisses you off and you swear, who cares? Hell, the president of my company swears a lot…the highly successful president of my company. There is a time and a place for all language, and if you’re old enough to work, you’re old enough to know when you should put the filter on or not worry about it. And if you’re just with colleagues and a bad word slips out, that’s about as noteworthy as remarking that someone is breathing.
I don’t think it is legal to swear in emails or any online media. If you swear, do it at yourself and leave others out of it. Don’t get angry at others if they do something wrong ; just remember that during your own lifetime you will probably do as bad or maybe worse to the same person or someone else. Just forget it and move on. Besides if you just swear at yourself it is not in writing so who will you sue or discipline..
I don’t see a lot of swearing in e-mails at work. As a matter of fact, I would be surprised to see any profanity in a work e-mail. However, I do work in an environment where the majority of people are well educated.
Vocal swearing is another matter! People will swear when frustrated, but won’t write it in an e-mail where it could come back to haunt them. Swearing in e-mails doesn’t say as much as the lack of common sense in writing something that could make you look bad.