Last week, I wrote about the dangers of quitting your job too early. So, how can you tell when it really is time to go? There are some signs to watch for.
I recently ran into a friend who, after a few friendly exchanges exploded into a tirade about her employment. She had been sticking it out at a job that was providing her with some valuable experience, but her boss was the biggest bully on the planet. The last straw came when, during a review, he told her she needed to update her wardrobe. It wasn’t that the suits she was wearing were inappropriate, but that he’d prefer she keep abreast of trends.
Wardrobe advice is warranted when an employee dresses inappropriately. But in this case the employer decided he wanted everyone to be high fashion in a non-high fashion environment.
My friend left the review knowing it was time to quit.
Bad boss scenarios are a dime a dozen. I hear more people complain about a bad boss than rave about an amazing boss. A bullying boss can make your life miserable – at work, and outside of work.
The ‘bully’ boss isn’t the only situation that can signal it’s time to quit. I spoke with one recent ‘quitter’ who said he needed to change careers. He was no longer fulfilled by his career path and needed to switch directions entirely. A career change is a big decision, but the thought of continuing along his current path made him depressed, and he was overcome with the feeling of being ‘stuck’. He realized that his role was having a huge negative impact on him not only at work, but it was also affecting him outside of work. It was time to move on, reassess, and finally quit.
Other stories I encountered varied from bad bosses, to lack of interest, and feeling stagnant. One element they all had in common was the sense that whatever the root of the problem, the situation had become toxic and was affecting people’s health and wellbeing outside the workplace.
Career counselor Amy Lindgren wrote an article for The Denver Post, in which she calls quitting a toxic environment ’self-preservation’. Lindgren writes “whatever the reason for a worker’s untenable situation, the fact seems almost indisputable: When a job is done, it’s time to move on. And when a job turns toxic, it’s time to flee.”
Her advice may seem extreme, especially if there isn’t another offer on the table, but she provides some good reasons for getting out, rather than sticking it out.
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1. “Every year you stay at a job that’s over is a year stolen from the better job you could be doing instead.”
2. “The longer you stay, the longer you’re likely to stay.”
3. “People rarely say they left a job too early; they frequently say they stayed too long.”
When a situation becomes toxic it may be too late turn it around. If it is financially feasible to leave before having another offer in hand you may save yourself a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Not everyone can just up and quit a job because it’s toxic. Some of us are quite qualified and experienced in other fields and simply can’t find other work right now. There are a lot of people out there looking for work and unless you’re spectactular, you’re just another face in a sea of faces – and really, most people are not spectacular.
Ophelia, as long as you truly believe that you are just another “face in a sea of faces” then that’s exactly what you will be.
Realizing that you don’t stand out is your first cue to do something to change that. The people who are spectacular are the ones who can somehow differentiate themselves from others. If you dig deep, you can do the same thing. But be warned, it’s not easy and takes work.
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is often dressed in overalls an looks a lot like work.” ~Thomas A. Edison
If you feel you don’t have anything special to offer, that you are just like the rest of the people looking for a new job, then do somethng about it! Take some courses, volunteer in an area that will benefit you whether experience in your line of work, or just to give you another perspective to your situation. Network, network, network, I can’t say that enough, most jobs are not advertised, they are filled by someone who new someone. Think outside the box Ophelia.
Ophelia is right, not all people can immediately find work again and not everyone can ‘afford’ to leave their current employment. It comes to a choice “is the pain of staying greater then the pain of leaving?” If the answer to that is YES then its time you were out of there. I did that recently and have been doing work outside my normal qualified work. Its interesting and varied and while it pays less, I am much healthier and much much less stressed. Sure I would like full time work again, but right now I am happy where I am.
If you are approaching or over 60, DO NOT quit your job for anything less than a threat to your life. The people who are interviewing these days are half your age and they with not understand you or hire you because frankly they think anybody your age should be dead.
I recently was let go and found myself quickly falling in to that state of mind that I was not spectacular or had anything extra to offer. But I was dead wrong. I am happy to be out of that toxic position, as it was very much affecting my personal life negatively. I received many calls from colleagues saying the same things that I had experienced and that they were hoping to leave as well. I quickly found myself networking with everyone I had been dealing with and found many others that wanted to help, out of the goodness of their hearts. Speaking to people / networking can be therapeutic and eye opening to abilities / assets that you may not realize you have. I may not have work yet, but I do have a path and the knowledge of what I have to offer that others don’t. My future position will FIT ME, not ME FITTING the position.
We all keep talking is about jobs we can or can’t do for an employer and read so many articles about writing resumes and job search.
I have yet to read a brilliant article on how employers could be trained to retain people, to train new employees etc. Problem solved.
Ophelia is dead-on–I often find that the people who are quick to point out the perfect solution to an otherwise common problem are the ones who have either never been in the situation or don’t atually work themselves in jobs where competition is high. Whether you see yourself as just another face in the crowd is dependent on certain factors but if that is how you feel and just sit around brewing in it as a result, then nothing is going ot happen for you. On the other hand, if you keep trying and trying, your number will eventually come up but be honest with yourself and ask if your qualifications are up to snuff or are they now outdated?
I had the devil in sheep’s clothing for a supervisor in one job who started an evil campaign against me for MONTHS before I found out and by then it was too late. There was also no telling what she was saying so it was impossible to defend myself. She also destroyed some otherwise great work relationships I had with others. This was a pattern with her but no one would have suspected it because she always acted so sweet yet she was EVIL! The point is that even through all of this, I searched high and low for another job but it’s about timing (is there anything suitable out there? taking something far less could be career suicide) and circumstances. I could not just up and quit. Not everyone can! Why can’t some of you people realize this? Good luck Ophelia!